The times we face are interesting and strongly synchronised with the collective homeostasis, not just the earth, but with our physiology, ethics and morality.
Human beings have been trespassers because they can’t seem to be able to wait in the line but instead, they jump queues or stop to look or admire what other people are doing which results in them abandoning their magnificent singular growth temporarily. Like a traffic jam where traffic lights are not respected, and instead, the drivers go in front of each other causing delays and inconvenience, and sometimes they don’t carry the kindest intentions at heart.
The examples of trespassing are:
To inflict unnecessary pain on others
To be dishonest in order to achieve recognition
To copy someone’s work and profit from it
To criticise people harshly and make them feel humiliated, etc…
I see that the current times are asking people to take a slower approach in life. How can we not do it? The benefits are numerous:
Increase care and compassion
Better union and laws
No jumping ahead, and instead analysis of singular present moment
We must honour what makes us so unique. We are intelligent corpora that have cognitive faculties that have been neglected. This, unfortunately, resulted in the violation of human rights throughout the many timelines and social epochs, and sadly still occurs. As we slow down and understand our bio-psycho-social existence, it is only likely that we can and will reap much higher long-term meaningful results.
A personality is a structure that corresponds to the emotional experiences lived by individuals, as well as their unique habits of thinking, how much they have allowed fear to build up and sustain their decision-making, and of hidden and repressed desires, or on the other hand, their ability to follow what they love and to prioritise self-love.
The purpose of a personality is to serve as a light tower that shows what details individuals should start discerning more in themselves, and so they can increase their self-awareness. Without self-awareness, the world lives in the dark, and even in grotesque times. When it is dark, and a person needs to find something they are likely to stumble on objects, make mistakes, hurt themselves or even others unnecessarily.
This is in my view exactly how most of the population of our world proceeds, stumbling and hurting themselves and others because of their unattended solid personality structures.
Therapy, opening up, being modest and humble are possible helpful routes for recovery of the soul. What is the soul? It is the intact, unconditionally loving, and caring interest present in all; however, most of the time, like a shipwreck.
I know it may sound strange this title and rude; however it equally encourages us all to cherish our deliberation, ability to take a step back to think, to flow with our joy and to speak up! This statement is critical if you find yourself engulfed in family, social and professional or school expectations and demands. If you feel lonely and that no one is interested in what you have to say is because you also perceive your voice as being weaker. Recognise that us humans are susceptible to get carried away in people’s dramas because of the intensity of the moment. This is natural. Be kind and a responsible adult during that time, and get used to loving yourself, by taking time out and remembering to prioritise your rhetoric, logic and free will. In my view, no matter how old we are, we ought to esteem our personal existence, uniqueness and freedom to learn and to speak up.
I am a believer that ethics as a concept is older than the concept of psychology or mental health. It is evident if you look back in history. Even in the ancient religious scripts, people have been asked to refrain their judgement, crime, and lies. So why are some humans compulsive liars, for example? I am not dismissing at all the genetic inclination for particular thinking patterns and actions; I actually embrace it wholeheartedly. It is important to recognise the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of the heart or mind, but something really different is when individuals hide it and minimise it.
Certain human beings prefer reading gossip magazines although they know that judgement is wrong and they dwell in the joy of either belittling themselves or others in their minds: “this person is fatter than me, I could be on the front page! For example. There is still quite a lot of this mentality but small education on it. In the meantime, young women and men with this predisposition start developing eating disorders or obsessive and compulsive habits. How many times have I worked with parents of children that were in constant denial of their emotional displacement. “We speak about everything in this house,” they say; however, they cannot bear to talk about their emotional wounds from the past, without a lot of necessity present and encouragement.
In my view, our world requires to have a stronger baseline of ethics before anything else, instead of being guided by lies of consumerism, power and fame. Immediate gratification is not to be neglected by doctors and services; it is to be tackled in conversations if we spot it and to be addressed in the now. The immediate gratification is the root of addiction, compulsion, obsession, depression and aggression. We must crystallise our personal ethics before we open any magazine or watch the news next time.
As much as I believe that it is important to learn from constant self-examination and facts-checking, I know that it is equally relevant to let go of hate and resentment. Why is this? Because if we remember that all individuals are learning to swim in the always-changing cultural ocean as they try to discover themselves, then we remember what unconditional love is. It is definitely long-term swimming to the unconditional existence. If we could forgive, we could evolve more, and our brains could work faster and deliberately. We would not need to worry about making the same mistakes anymore as we would see all the pitfalls under the sunlight.
Imagine that we would be the replica of God. How would we really be like as if we were it? or a benevolent source? Or a parent or relative of the entire humanity? We would very likely hope and expect that all children could recall love, and would also be able to adjust their approach in an unconditionally self-loving manner to allow more progress for all.
Processing speed is a faculty in the brain that requires to be exercised to operate comprehensively. Processing speed is the velocity at which a person takes in information, makes sense of it, and begins to answer. This information can be visual, like letters and numbers. It can also be auditory, like spoken language. Different people have different paces in processing information. Our communication depends on our ability to process information effectively, and to notice the subtleties of the relational exchange, which include the following:
A= Personal ability to notice effectively what people are expressing and a frank attitude to acknowledge what you understand or when you need to ask for clarification.
B= Personal ability to state the truth, without fear of persecution or oppression.
C= Personal ability to recognise how we feel in the moment, and commitment to universal rights.
Most arguments and conflicts happen due to a need to slow down the thinking to serve a better reflection and impartiality. The truth is always important for both parts, as it is essentially based in unconditional love. This powerful statement is beyond what we imagine currently, because it has the potential to support each individual in their emotional and mental calibration and self-awareness. This could be very protective for humanity.
Imagine a debate where people are only attacking each other with the things that they have failed upon, without punctuating how to make it better, as it is the debate of the American Presidential elections and a common practice of many politicians. This is an overreactive mentality, which aim does not seem to support the collective good for all, especially when the vice-presidents keep telling each other that they are lying, without explaining if they are or not and rushing to the next question instead. This can be felt as extremely confusing and deceptive, and it is! Assuming that “everyone knows it all” is the norm, which is unhealthy and detrimental to our mental health.
We must enquire deeper in the debate between 2 individuals, including on how they are achieving their reasoning and how they feel about it. Besides, we must demand facts as they are many vulnerable people with poor processing speed that are not prepared to think with complete self-care and attention to the important and truthful details. When there is anxiety in the mind while saying something, there will be space for error. Unfortunately, denial is also a problem because it is a common action and acceptable socially, which is again conceivably harmful.
Dear reader, let me ask you kindly. How dedicated are you in terms of taking responsibility for your own mental health? How much do you value it from zero to ten (none to a lot)? If you don’t value unconditional self-love and prioritise your well-being that much, it may indicate that your processing speed is rather slow in the matters of your own holistic self-care. I want to reassure you that it is possible to overcome this issue through specific researched interventions.
Please refer to my other articles and posts of my professional and personal Instagram for more openness on this subject, and feel free to approach me if you wish to book a session or have questions.
The words “self-love” and “unconditional self-love” are experienced by many as archaic or even not representing a priority. This is noticeable because what you hear the most on social media and the television are not those words. I use this terminology in my clinical practice because it is not only intertwined with the purpose of emotional healing and rehabilitation but also with ancient facts that few Masters of unconditional love and peace have tried to disseminate for millennia.
When you love yourself unconditionally, you know that in every step of your way, you will need to re-examine your heart and mind intentions, thoughts and actions. Unconditional self-love to me is a broader understanding that we are beyond meanings; it grounds me immediately to my entitlements of experiencing joy and keep evolving without the fear of being judged. There is much social anxiety on this planet, too much. This has been sustained, and the only thing that can reduce it is the use of logic and authenticity
I have sad news for you. Your life circumstances are a product of your great or little attention to your well-being. You have abandoned knowing yourself to facilitate “happier” moments to other people. Have you? If not, congratulations.
Please stop blaming your spouse, children, parents and the economy, and allow yourself to feel more dignified. It is your care to the detail and pursuit of your happiness that are here in check.
Perhaps your difficulty is related to inertia or lethargy. If you feel stuck in your conditions than I recommend that you learn how to overcome the negative feelings from an easy and kind place. How can you defeat emotional lethargy? I have one simple and life-saving suggestion: don’t judge yourself and move on. Indeed move on with your new understanding and greater feeling, and reach your next important milestone which might be feeling healthier, inspired, energetic, satisfied, in love, in harmony, etc. Simply move on to a new positive feeling platform, even before you address trauma if you have endured it, feel good if not excellent first. Discover what is that you love and surround yourself with that.
For many kiloyears we have seen individuals wanting to manipulate one another. Our survival became associated with that and pleasing others.
It started with Eve that tried to influence Adam to eat the fruit, and Adam not being able to be singular. It is not only Eve’s fault, both individuals’ core identities were already contaminated with insecurity. Why did we all get so easily swayed and our voices so retreated as humanity?
The social media phenomenon that we see, and also in arenas such as politics and teaching platforms, are the result – literally – of interwoven brain waves that keep everyone either unhappily stuck, stagnant or even temporarily satisfied for the few seconds of fame. Our real identity that is already innately self-reliable, will never achieve fulfilment from the social interexchange. The most you get out of it is some sort of validation and momentous equality, feeling a little bit less shit. Is this sustainable?
The world needs to wake up to the understanding that people’s influence is stronger than what we have assumed so far. It is not only a social fact it is also physics. As you think and repeat the same unhelpful thought you pollute not only your life and your loved ones around you, but you also pollute the collective brain.
The waves you emit sustain in the air after their apparent end. The words you originate have electricity and the actions even more voltage, this has been already validated by science.
One needs to wake up to self-responsibility in the creation of not only of our daily life experiences but also of the societies we co-exist. What kind of world do you want to help actualising? We are all to blame for the polluted air we breathe.