3 Diamonds

In my work, I make space for the correlation of important elements that are enhancing of a positive and truthful well-being. They are assertiveness, psychological homeostasis and evolution or learning.

Assertiveness speaks of trying to be kind and sincere with your yourself whilst you are being considerate and acting diligently with others around you too. This is highly important but also requires previous homework of exploration of who you are, your real intentions and your innate entitlements. Please read up my previous posts for more content on your innate entitlements.

Psychological homeostasis refers to the individual’s understanding of their own optimal developmental environment and needs. It invites you to take a step back and contemplate what are your real needs. What is a “need?” A need is related to the mechanisms of self-regulation that you might be lacking, in other words, the insight about how you can get easily stuck to a sentiment that there is something lacking in you, or in your life in general. Nothing really is lacking in a human being as we are equipped with all cognitive skills we require in order to reason, make decisions, communicate and survive properly. Why are people not communicating properly these days? A good question to reflect upon, I think.

Evolution or learning refers to the flexibility that is required in the singular ascension. A person needs to be open-minded, so they can overcome challenging times by seeking the truth in them. There are many people stubbornly just professing ideologies and using a loud voice or a passive-aggressive stance, which makes others that are more sensitive and shy, either avoid speaking up and fall behind in their introspection and happiness. Although, the point of this article is that YOU become self-sustainable and not shaken off so quickly by other people’s views of you, or the world around you.

Be aware that you do create your reality, your climate.

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All that it takes is to care!

A caring nature is the key and the portal of success, happiness, love, abundance and personal integration.

When individuals split their attention to accommodate stronger and harsher emotions such as anger, hate and resentment, they embark on a journey of dissociation from the whole equation. Imagine a neighbour of yours having gone through the split: How do you think they would behave? Would they feel frequently on edge? Perhaps suspicious and anxious around other people? The split of oneself genuine well-being to embrace fear and worry as the norm, if not understood leaves in individuals deep wounds and their personalities becomes identified with what they perceive and repeatedly suffer from. Of course, there will be situations when it is totally valid to experience fear, worry and dislike; though if this is left unnoticed, there lies the beginning of a possible issue.

I practice clinical psychology with the sentiment that all people have importance and that no one should be made to feel devalued. This principle is something new for many as the mainstream mentality and historical evolution have prioritized pleasing to others. For instance if we pay attention to the expectations related to meeting deadlines, or achieving particular status, financial ranks, family and religious status, we will see that these are some of the social constructs that can ignite in individuals a fight-flight-freeze answer. It is rather difficult to prevent it because it needs to be understood instead! In my sessions I work with my clients on supporting them to notice their emotions better and without any fear. This tends to be useful because it decreases the habit of skipping the noticing stage for quick, fruitless and not very sustainable resolutions. We all need to become fearless about self-analysis, in my view.

I believe that when individuals start making space to care about each other and understand from the other’s angle, whilst not suppressing their emotions, there will be a beautiful evolutionary momentum in the world. Would you agree?

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Trespassers

The times we face are interesting and strongly synchronised with the collective homeostasis, not just the earth, but with our physiology, ethics and morality.

Human beings have been trespassers because they can’t seem to be able to wait in the line but instead, they jump queues or stop to look or admire what other people are doing which results in them abandoning their magnificent singular growth temporarily. Like a traffic jam where traffic lights are not respected, and instead, the drivers go in front of each other causing delays and inconvenience, and sometimes they don’t carry the kindest intentions at heart. 

The examples of trespassing are:

  • To inflict unnecessary pain on others
  • To be dishonest in order to achieve recognition
  • To copy someone’s work and profit from it
  • To criticise people harshly and make them feel humiliated, etc…

I see that the current times are asking people to take a slower approach in life. How can we not do it? The benefits are numerous:

  • Better focus
  • Better memory
  • Better decision-making
  • Increase care and compassion
  • Increase creativity
  • Better union and laws
  • No jumping ahead, and instead analysis of singular present moment

We must honour what makes us so unique. We are intelligent corpora that have cognitive faculties that have been neglected. This, unfortunately, resulted in the violation of human rights throughout the many timelines and social epochs, and sadly still occurs. As we slow down and understand our bio-psycho-social existence, it is only likely that we can and will reap much higher long-term meaningful results.

Behave Like an Adult!

I know it may sound strange this title and rude; however it equally encourages us all to cherish our deliberation, ability to take a step back to think, to flow with our joy and to speak up! This statement is critical if you find yourself engulfed in family, social and professional or school expectations and demands. If you feel lonely and that no one is interested in what you have to say is because you also perceive your voice as being weaker. Recognise that us humans are susceptible to get carried away in people’s dramas because of the intensity of the moment. This is natural. Be kind and a responsible adult during that time, and get used to loving yourself, by taking time out and remembering to prioritise your rhetoric, logic and free will. In my view, no matter how old we are, we ought to esteem our personal existence, uniqueness and freedom to learn and to speak up.

Behave like an adult!

Your Mental Health is Your Responsibility

I have sad news for you. Your life circumstances are a product of your great or little attention to your well-being. You have abandoned knowing yourself to facilitate “happier” moments to other people. Have you? If not, congratulations.

Please stop blaming your spouse, children, parents and the economy, and allow yourself to feel more dignified. It is your care to the detail and pursuit of your happiness that are here in check.

Perhaps your difficulty is related to inertia or lethargy. If you feel stuck in your conditions than I recommend that you learn how to overcome the negative feelings from an easy and kind place. How can you defeat emotional lethargy? I have one simple and life-saving suggestion: don’t judge yourself and move on. Indeed move on with your new understanding and greater feeling, and reach your next important milestone which might be feeling healthier, inspired, energetic, satisfied, in love, in harmony, etc. Simply move on to a new positive feeling platform, even before you address trauma if you have endured it, feel good if not excellent first. Discover what is that you love and surround yourself with that.

It is your responsibility.

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Stop polluting the air with your brainwaves!

For many kiloyears we have seen individuals wanting to manipulate one another. Our survival became associated with that and pleasing others.

It started with Eve that tried to influence Adam to eat the fruit, and Adam not being able to be singular. It is not only Eve’s fault, both individuals’ core identities were already contaminated with insecurity. Why did we all get so easily swayed and our voices so retreated as humanity?

The social media phenomenon that we see, and also in arenas such as politics and teaching platforms, are the result – literally – of interwoven brain waves that keep everyone either unhappily stuck, stagnant or even temporarily satisfied for the few seconds of fame. Our real identity that is already innately self-reliable, will never achieve fulfilment from the social interexchange. The most you get out of it is some sort of validation and momentous equality, feeling a little bit less shit. Is this sustainable?

The world needs to wake up to the understanding that people’s influence is stronger than what we have assumed so far. It is not only a social fact it is also physics. As you think and repeat the same unhelpful thought you pollute not only your life and your loved ones around you, but you also pollute the collective brain.

The waves you emit sustain in the air after their apparent end. The words you originate have electricity and the actions even more voltage, this has been already validated by science.

One needs to wake up to self-responsibility in the creation of not only of our daily life experiences but also of the societies we co-exist. What kind of world do you want to help actualising? We are all to blame for the polluted air we breathe.

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Judgement is Existentially Harmful

The judgement we know is one of overt criticism towards another or oneself; the thoughts that lead to the action of actually verbalising the judgement.

The judgement methodology is an ancient one, inherently in it there is the “compare and despair” mentality. It consists basically of you reasoning and gathering evidence of why it isn’t good or fair. I am not dismissing the fact that there are wrong things happening at every moment, however, this sort of mentality does not help. The more we seek to find the problem the more we will see it. By doing this you activate momentum in your thinking and you will find extremely difficult to take control, as the intensity of the brain waves increase and permeate your entire system.

For many years people have allowed the judgement methodology to get integrated into the collective and individual mind, which consequently contributed for a gradual deterioration of your ability to love and care about your well-being. This why many people are not able to see above despair, judgement, guilt, anger, etc. They have become deeply accustomed to this mindset.

How to get rid of judgement? Firstly recognised that it is not serving your evolution as it gets you stuck to unpleasant emotional chairs. Your care for the way you feel needs to sound louder than the habit of being pessimistic or judgemental. So raise your voice on a moment by moment basis, and you will experience a new intelligence in you, the original self-love intelligence.

Secondly, reprimand your negative thoughts with authority while you see the truth. It is like a roar of a lion that is always sure of itself and clear.

We must attempt to correct the voices in our heads and navigate more often on positive thinking-feeling platforms deliberately to attain happiness.

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Quantum Psychology

Quantum physics is a science that investigates the smallest and most invisible and imperceptible elements that surround our existence, such as atoms, molecules, waves, etc.

I based my work and clinical approach on unconditional self-love which is the scientific self of all humans. Throughout the last decade of practicing as a clinical psychologist, I concluded that the mind cannot remain in one place, as it is quickly transported to varied emotional experiences, some of them experienced physically and others related to imagined or vicarious learning. In my work, I remind individuals of all ages about the many parallel roads that they tend to get stuck on, and are diverted from their original goal which tends to be feeling their confidence, authenticity, happiness, power, and/ or motivation. I also remind them of the intact and positive self that stays normally at the back, asking to be reunited with the mind, with the single purpose of living a fulfilled and meaningful life.

The self I am constantly referring to is the genuine identity that obeys to the laws of unconditional self-love, and it is basically comprised of energy, one of positive nature.

Imagine a glass filled with water, pure water, and suddenly you add a minuscule drop of blue ink, the water will no longer seem so transparent. This is exactly what I mean by unconditional self-love energy. It is a quantum reality, invisible; however at the basis on all creation because it never disentangles from the systems of homeostasis, regeneration, and therefore peace and joy.

PSYCHOLOGICAL SINGULARITY FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH AUTISM AND INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY

Parents are the pillars of our world as they have the very important roles of protecting, caring and educating their children, and inadvertently helping professionals to become better at their jobs.

In my view parents require to acknowledge their need for personal space and self-care too. When they do this everyone in the household increases their self-awareness and consequently self-worth.

The key points are that parents realise that they might have been dismissing the guidance available to them: their emotions. The exhaustion they experience sometimes (or often), indicates a diversion from their own self-love path. I see this happening significantly in my work as clinical psychologist, as normally other demands and worries take priority.

I work mainly with parents of autistic children and I witness great potential and love coming from them; however, I also notice reluctance and insecurity when it comes to trusting themselves first. This is perhaps due to longstanding beliefs related to the topic of autism or learning disabilities, parenthood, individual narratives and social expectations. Parents require to remember that their lives are equally important, and that they deserve to mind the gap between their thoughts and their actions, and enhance their sensitivity to the way they feel.

If you are a parent of a child with autism you will most likely experience ambivalent and puzzling emotions.

Most people raise the theme of rigidity, and need to stick to a routine to not intensify anxiety on the child, which in many ways is positive because it provides the physical and emotional safety and the secure attachment that they are entitled to. However, it is likewise relevant that parents remember the importance of space for personal reflection and to not suppress creative and spontaneous behaviour.

Scientists of psychology have carried out extensive research that confirms the impact of social conditioning which is interconnected with how parents have been also brought-up and their exposure to education. If you have come from a chaotic family, or a high achieving one, you might not have been reminded to appreciate your emotional states. I’ve seen many times parents flourishing when we initiate discussion about the principle of self-worth. Very quickly they become quite creative and insightful, and able to troubleshoot challenging situations at home with minimal or none support.

I would like to recommend that parents become more attentive to their emotions, and to take a non-judgemental stance even if these emotions are convoluted, such as anger or serious frustration. Instead see yourself as extremely valuable and also an emotional being that is deserving of unconditional respect and self-love.

Take a deep breath and re-connect with the purpose of your existence in this magnificent planet that supersedes the mind blocks and any unpleasant emotions.

Article written by Dr Andreia Santo (April 2020)