Tag Archives: love

Self requires logic, fun and sensitivity

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As much as one likes to trust that the good times are “always” around the corner, there is still a need for personal accountability, discernment and an attitude of not letting go of one’s meaningful fun and well-being moments. Yes, many people act erratically and can undermine a voice of a vulnerable person, but the vulnerable one shall rise out of that very difficult time and own what they can take control of. In experiences of despair, we can still talk to God or nature, or change the path of our emotions by not allowing them to settle in harsh ways. Self-love is, therefore, our number one tool and an innate mechanism. It is a critical mechanism of survival, homeostasis and harmony.

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You have the power (always available to you if you choose to use it) to improve your emotional states. This might require that you look at things in a more comprehensive way, such as trying to explore and understand the reasons why others act the way they do, or why they commit offences and crimes. That’s why billions of people like to watch crime documentaries, even if they have previously suffered. They find them cathartic and enlightening, and they feel that they are not alone. When we understand what shapes our political-social-religious contexts, this brings a great deal of liberation and the knowing that healing is permanently taking place too, not just when we sit in our therapy sessions. Ultimately, you have free will and can at any time do what you really want for your life and you can honour your magnificent sensitivity. If you feel criticise for being highly sensitive, be reminded that the people that criticise you will probably need to face the facts about their own lack of sensitivity too. Passive-aggressive communication and behavioural styles never lead to great solutions; logic is, in my view, the only way out for all humanity.

Choose to love yourself in every moment, and to embrace your acquired wisdom with dignity and humility, and remember that joy is part of the existential universal fabric.

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SELF: One Quantic Light!

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Self is one light, one quantic reality that focuses its attention selectively or with anger, and splits its oneness sense. The erratic and non-psychologically-minded pace of the world is a reflection of the deeds of this split energy.

The oneness sense has been torn apart, and from that body self, multiple and uneven extensions emerged. Through contradictions, fears, resentment, rejection, sublimation, repression habits, etc. There are varied fragments that require to be noticed and repaired. To notice is the number one action to take. Self is in my view one love energy moving towards its centre. Like one sun, that does not need or wish to be another natural element.

Self-love is then a healthier emotion to have in all circumstances, a place of drawing one’s energy closer to the purpose of being. Many times self-love is a subconscious action, in other words, something that one does but is not sure of the reasons why. Yet, still tries to not split any further, and to repair as much as is, at that moment, possible. When the self has forgotten to enjoy learning proactively, it is because it has diverted farther away from the primordial and initial essence. Generally, in these cases, there is quite a lot of trauma attached to it and neurodevelopmental needs associated. There is a huge divide in the identities of many, and you can tell by seeing what coping styles people adhere to… either denial, suppression or enquiry about the truth. I imagine that you already know which one is the farthest and the closest to the stage of rebuilding the full sense of self.

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A study on Pace

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Pace is very much a very important phenomenon of physics because it is the velocity of things, and how fast things go for you, or in your life. Each person in your life will have a particular pace including when using logical thinking, impulsivity, compulsion, judgement and or even when resting. People will think and do things differently.

There is a collective acceptance of “randomness” and that in itself it means that people are not paying attention to their own mechanisms, and to their own responsibility on operating the mechanisms.

It is important that we start reflecting about pace and contemplate whether our individual pace is something out of order, out of control, and if it needs to be brought back to the right control.

Many people don’t know this. They don’t know that they should be aware of when they are experiencing emotions and that they should validate their freedom within the circumstances they are experiencing.

The emotion speaks about the manner we put ourselves in our circumstances, and how we are doing, and in terms of the amount of unconditional self-love we have for ourselves.

We need to think about emotions as our best friends, not as external elements, as being internal instead. Something that we must analyse, and act on with care and sensitivity. The energy of the emotion (the emotion is energy) will drag on until it has been noticed and repaired.

The pace of not doing anything about it, or the pace of distracting yourself, is another subtype of pace that we should invest in thinking about. The distraction pace replaces the reflection one and creates havoc and also drains our vital force.

This is a good theme for today’s reflection, don’t you think? The question that can transform the way we look at and understand existence, in my view, and supports us contrasting the pace of our lives and to determine how we react to each other’s non-reflected paces.

I hope this makes some sense to you my dear reader, thank you for stopping by and being part of the group of interested people in the world.

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Reflection over meal: Analogia da Batata – Potato Analogy

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Para cozer bem uma batata é necessário o fogo, a panela, o fogo que se mantém ativo (moléculas necessárias para o fogo estar ativo), a panela com a tampa, água que vai aquecendo, a batata, a batata vai amolecendo, e depois não pode amolecer demais senão perde as qualidades e o efeito… e depois o diminuir e calibrar da intensidade do fogo e depois o desligar do fogo e está na hora de comer. Comer antes que fique fria! Pois, para isso as pessoas têm que reconhecer o tempo, e pôr a mesa a boas horas para usufruírem dessa experiencia quase milagrosa, cientifica, e de valor e alegria incondicional! E o degustar da batata e da experiência social… essa é outra missão… Encontro-me a degustar um Red Velvet cupcake (vegano) no Sugar Rabbit Kaffé em Albufeira! Que bom!

To cook a potato well, you need a fire, a pan, a fire that remains active (with the molecules necessary for the fire to keep active), a pan with a lid, heating water, the potato, the potato then softens, and then it can’t soften too much, or it loses its qualities and effect… and then it needs reducing and calibrating of the intensity of the fire, and then we must turn it off, and it’s time to eat! Let’s eat it before it gets cold! For this, people have to recognize the time and set the table at a good time to enjoy this almost miraculous experience, scientific, and of value and unconditional joy! Then the potato tasting and the social experience… this is another mission… I thought of this analogy during a magnificent moment when savouring a Vegan Red Velvet Cupcake and Oat Milk Cappuccino at the Sugar Rabbit Kaffé.

“Awakening”

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There is a trend called the awakening or ascension that has been inspiring many people to develop their connection with nature, love, God, and themselves too. For centuries many disciplines including religion, maths, science, journalism, theatre seem to have channelled the “desire for more”, the desire to transcend social limitations and understand them (the latest being less relevant in our consciousness, unfortunately). Is the desire perhaps the real meaning of spirituality? Is the desire in the end the driving force that keeps us alive, engaged, curious, and proactive?

Many people struggle to embrace their desires. They leave this to the end of their journey, even. Is floating with endurance the same thing as actively exploring and adventuring? I don’t believe it is. Endurance refers to a more passive stance, totally valid too, as at times we have to survive, or still keep processing quite a lot of experiences, and therefore we might not feel apt to do more. Does this make sense to you? When we do not find the strength to do more we should honour our efforts so far, understand the limitations in ourselves and others and stick to our own journey and personal rhythm. We will never find 2 individuals with the exact same pace, inclinations, life experiences, limitations, etc. Is this something to feel bad about or to accept? To accept and love without a doubt. Hence, the need to wake to loving your singular existence.

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All that it takes is to care!

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A caring nature is the key and the portal of success, happiness, love, abundance and personal integration.

When individuals split their attention to accommodate stronger and harsher emotions such as anger, hate and resentment, they embark on a journey of dissociation from the whole equation. Imagine a neighbour of yours having gone through the split: How do you think they would behave? Would they feel frequently on edge? Perhaps suspicious and anxious around other people? The split of oneself genuine well-being to embrace fear and worry as the norm, if not understood leaves in individuals deep wounds and their personalities becomes identified with what they perceive and repeatedly suffer from. Of course, there will be situations when it is totally valid to experience fear, worry and dislike; though if this is left unnoticed, there lies the beginning of a possible issue.

I practice clinical psychology with the sentiment that all people have importance and that no one should be made to feel devalued. This principle is something new for many as the mainstream mentality and historical evolution have prioritized pleasing to others. For instance if we pay attention to the expectations related to meeting deadlines, or achieving particular status, financial ranks, family and religious status, we will see that these are some of the social constructs that can ignite in individuals a fight-flight-freeze answer. It is rather difficult to prevent it because it needs to be understood instead! In my sessions I work with my clients on supporting them to notice their emotions better and without any fear. This tends to be useful because it decreases the habit of skipping the noticing stage for quick, fruitless and not very sustainable resolutions. We all need to become fearless about self-analysis, in my view.

I believe that when individuals start making space to care about each other and understand from the other’s angle, whilst not suppressing their emotions, there will be a beautiful evolutionary momentum in the world. Would you agree?

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The Web of Interests

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Are relationships genuine, or have they been?

How to start answering this question? The word genuine means that there is no interest attached to the individual, but to be authentic and correct. To follow the natural law of decency towards self and another. So are relationships genuine at the point of not hiding any discomfort or unhappiness? Because this is what genuine is. Perhaps relationships are more invested in denying vital truths in order to keep the interest alive? Could be a common interest to deny facts? Maybe for some although is that genuine? No.

It feels like an endless cycle of positive expectation and then disappointment to me. As much as a person seems to be temporarily able to sustain a benevolent feeling, easily this fades out when it touches the psychological emptiness that they experience. Then it is the pain that comes first, and the need to operate first aid and a quick fix procedure.

The times are not for first fast aid any more. The current times are asking for thorough procedures, deep investigations into the kernel of our knowings and existences.

People that have not gained the skills the need to go through the fire of authenticity. This is though the natural course. Without eggs who can make scramble eggs? Perhaps imagining making it gives some a kind of deceptive pleasure, which can indicate that some got used to living in a world of fantasy.

Are relationships genuine?

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Equilibrium

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The art of equilibrium requires a great amount of acceptance, including of what we don’t know, what we really desire and where our sources of inspiration come from. Without these 3 areas covered, I don’t believe that a person will feel satisfied in their present moment.

The present moment phenomenon requires a 360 degrees view. I have learnt this from many masters, but also it is something that I couldn’t run away from. The thirst for balance has always been constant in me. I did not ever want to blame anyone, as I understood that other variables played a part in individuals choices and decisions. Other variables were intrinsic to their own experience and tailored developmental milestones. As much as it is difficult to recognise, everyone deserves to feel good, safe and valued in their singular lives. No matter how much you have learnt or achieved. However, this is something that the unique person has to prioritise instead of giving that responsibility to another.

Some people can’t seem to attain a balance in life. In that case, they must remember the art of being humble and recognise that they can’t get it right all the time, and this will liberate them, as it liberates all.

We all need to learn to equilibrate in the ocean waves and about the mechanisms that already drive our boats. Otherwise, we are, and we have been, and unfortunately, for several, they still will be, creating unnecessary pain and obstacles.

My recommendation for today is that we remember humility. A soft terrain produces more fruits than a hard one. Stay well!

The Natural Order

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“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities, an old script from the Bible.

No matter how many spins the planet does there will always be a few brave and lawful individuals that will not give up when facing a challenge. This to me reveals wisdom over ignorance, and love over hate.

Some individuals struggle to see that hate is a waste of their time. They simply don’t see this until something happens or someone informs them. I have recognized this in relatives for example and also in patients. The mind remains on default mode for many years, and the individual can attack others with derogatory words, unrealistic demands and even can get physical. Their pride is above their heads, and they anger touches the house celling. This is not just wrong morally, it is also against the natural order of our bio-psycho-social existence, and eventually people start noticing being short in breath or a lower immune system or lower self-esteem and self-confidence. It is necessary to remember that we are all one in the aspect of entitlement to live a free and joyful life, and that equally we have always been one. This is as applicable for yourself reading this, as it is for your next door neighbour, or your child.

I want to bring to your attention that existence is like a house that you purchase. You are living there by yourself, you got the key, and you know where the living room is, the electricity, the stove and the water. If you don’t maintain it tidy and clean, hazardous substances will grow almost from nowhere. You may hide something under the carpet, but your mind knows that it is still there. Keeping something hidden is impossible because your body will still assimilate the images, memories and effects of that in yourself and/or in others. It is also like a cloud in the sky that comes and goes, and will still come and go until you resolve it. This is what I understand by Natural Order. It is innate to all humans, species and components that create the cosmos. It is the pure desire. Furthermore, it speaks about natural harmony and transparency.

Ethics and Mental Ilness

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I am a believer that ethics as a concept is older than the concept of psychology or mental health. It is evident if you look back in history. Even in the ancient religious scripts, people have been asked to refrain their judgement, crime, and lies. So why are some humans compulsive liars, for example? I am not dismissing at all the genetic inclination for particular thinking patterns and actions; I actually embrace it wholeheartedly. It is important to recognise the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of the heart or mind, but something really different is when individuals hide it and minimise it.

Certain human beings prefer reading gossip magazines although they know that judgement is wrong and they dwell in the joy of either belittling themselves or others in their minds: “this person is fatter than me, I could be on the front page! For example. There is still quite a lot of this mentality but small education on it. In the meantime, young women and men with this predisposition start developing eating disorders or obsessive and compulsive habits. How many times have I worked with parents of children that were in constant denial of their emotional displacement. “We speak about everything in this house,” they say; however, they cannot bear to talk about their emotional wounds from the past, without a lot of necessity present and encouragement.

In my view, our world requires to have a stronger baseline of ethics before anything else, instead of being guided by lies of consumerism, power and fame. Immediate gratification is not to be neglected by doctors and services; it is to be tackled in conversations if we spot it and to be addressed in the now. The immediate gratification is the root of addiction, compulsion, obsession, depression and aggression. We must crystallise our personal ethics before we open any magazine or watch the news next time.

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