How to start answering this question? The word genuine means that there is no interest attached to the individual, but to be authentic and correct. To follow the natural law of decency towards self and another. So are relationships genuine at the point of not hiding any discomfort or unhappiness? Because this is what genuine is. Perhaps relationships are more invested in denying vital truths in order to keep the interest alive? Could be a common interest to deny facts? Maybe for some although is that genuine? No.
It feels like an endless cycle of positive expectation and then disappointment to me. As much as a person seem to be temporarily able to sustain a benevolent feeling, easily this fades out when it touches the psychological emptiness that they experience. Then it is the pain that comes first, and the need to operate first aid quick fix procedure. The times are not for first fast aid any longer. The current times ask for thorough procedure. One of deep investigation into the kernel of our knowings and existences.
People that have not attained the skills they need to go through, the fire of authenticity might feel devastating. This is though the natural course. Without eggs who can make scramble eggs? Perhaps imagining making it gives some a kind of deceptive pleasure, which can indicate that some got used to living in a world of fantasy.
The art of equilibrium requires a great amount of acceptance, including of what we don’t know, what we really desire and where our sources of inspiration come from. Without these 3 areas covered, I don’t believe that a person will feel satisfied in their present moment.
The present moment phenomenon requires a 360 degrees view. I have learnt this from many masters, but also it is something that I couldn’t run away from. The thirst for balance has always been constant in me. I did not ever want to blame anyone, for I understood that other variables played a part in individuals choices and decisions. Other variables were intrinsic to their own experience and tailored developmental milestones. As much as it is difficult to recognise, everyone deserves to feel good, safe and valued in their singular lives. No matter how much you have learnt or achieved. However, this is something that the unique person has to prioritise instead of giving that responsibility to another.
Some people can’t seem to attain a balance in life. In that case, they must remember the art of being humble and recognise that they can’t get it right all the time, and this will liberate them, as it liberates all.
We all need to learn to equilibrate in the ocean waves and about the mechanisms that already drive our boats. Otherwise, we are, and we have been, and unfortunately, for several, they still will be, creating unnecessary pain and obstacles.
My recommendation for today is that we remember humility. A soft terrain produces more fruits than a hard one. Stay well!
The times we face are interesting and strongly synchronised with the collective homeostasis, not just the earth, but with our physiology, ethics and morality.
Human beings have been trespassers because they can’t seem to be able to wait in the line but instead, they jump queues or stop to look or admire what other people are doing which results in them abandoning their magnificent singular growth temporarily. Like a traffic jam where traffic lights are not respected, and instead, the drivers go in front of each other causing delays and inconvenience, and sometimes they don’t carry the kindest intentions at heart.
The examples of trespassing are:
To inflict unnecessary pain on others
To be dishonest in order to achieve recognition
To copy someone’s work and profit from it
To criticise people harshly and make them feel humiliated, etc…
I see that the current times are asking people to take a slower approach in life. How can we not do it? The benefits are numerous:
Increase care and compassion
Better union and laws
No jumping ahead, and instead analysis of singular present moment
We must honour what makes us so unique. We are intelligent corpora that have cognitive faculties that have been neglected. This, unfortunately, resulted in the violation of human rights throughout the many timelines and social epochs, and sadly still occurs. As we slow down and understand our bio-psycho-social existence, it is only likely that we can and will reap much higher long-term meaningful results.
A personality is a structure that corresponds to the emotional experiences lived by individuals, as well as their unique habits of thinking, how much they have allowed fear to build up and sustain their decision-making, and of hidden and repressed desires, or on the other hand, their ability to follow what they love and to prioritise self-love.
The purpose of a personality is to serve as a light tower that shows what details individuals should start discerning more in themselves, and so they can increase their self-awareness. Without self-awareness, the world lives in the dark, and even in grotesque times. When it is dark, and a person needs to find something they are likely to stumble on objects, make mistakes, hurt themselves or even others unnecessarily.
This is in my view exactly how most of the population of our world proceeds, stumbling and hurting themselves and others because of their unattended solid personality structures.
Therapy, opening up, being modest and humble are possible helpful routes for recovery of the soul. What is the soul? It is the intact, unconditionally loving, and caring interest present in all; however, most of the time, like a shipwreck.
I know it may sound strange this title and rude; however it equally encourages us all to cherish our deliberation, ability to take a step back to think, to flow with our joy and to speak up! This statement is critical if you find yourself engulfed in family, social and professional or school expectations and demands. If you feel lonely and that no one is interested in what you have to say is because you also perceive your voice as being weaker. Recognise that us humans are susceptible to get carried away in people’s dramas because of the intensity of the moment. This is natural. Be kind and a responsible adult during that time, and get used to loving yourself, by taking time out and remembering to prioritise your rhetoric, logic and free will. In my view, no matter how old we are, we ought to esteem our personal existence, uniqueness and freedom to learn and to speak up.
I am a believer that ethics as a concept is older than the concept of psychology or mental health. It is evident if you look back in history. Even in the ancient religious scripts, people have been asked to refrain their judgement, crime, and lies. So why are some humans compulsive liars, for example? I am not dismissing at all the genetic inclination for particular thinking patterns and actions; I actually embrace it wholeheartedly. It is important to recognise the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of the heart or mind, but something really different is when individuals hide it and minimise it.
Certain human beings prefer reading gossip magazines although they know that judgement is wrong and they dwell in the joy of either belittling themselves or others in their minds: “this person is fatter than me, I could be on the front page! For example. There is still quite a lot of this mentality but small education on it. In the meantime, young women and men with this predisposition start developing eating disorders or obsessive and compulsive habits. How many times have I worked with parents of children that were in constant denial of their emotional displacement. “We speak about everything in this house,” they say; however, they cannot bear to talk about their emotional wounds from the past, without a lot of necessity present and encouragement.
In my view, our world requires to have a stronger baseline of ethics before anything else, instead of being guided by lies of consumerism, power and fame. Immediate gratification is not to be neglected by doctors and services; it is to be tackled in conversations if we spot it and to be addressed in the now. The immediate gratification is the root of addiction, compulsion, obsession, depression and aggression. We must crystallise our personal ethics before we open any magazine or watch the news next time.
As much as I believe that it is important to learn from constant self-examination and facts-checking, I know that it is equally relevant to let go of hate and resentment. Why is this? Because if we remember that all individuals are learning to swim in the always-changing cultural ocean as they try to discover themselves, then we remember what unconditional love is. It is definitely long-term swimming to the unconditional existence. If we could forgive, we could evolve more, and our brains could work faster and deliberately. We would not need to worry about making the same mistakes anymore as we would see all the pitfalls under the sunlight.
Imagine that we would be the replica of God. How would we really be like as if we were it? or a benevolent source? Or a parent or relative of the entire humanity? We would very likely hope and expect that all children could recall love, and would also be able to adjust their approach in an unconditionally self-loving manner to allow more progress for all.
I have sad news for you. Your life circumstances are a product of your great or little attention to your well-being. You have abandoned knowing yourself to facilitate “happier” moments to other people. Have you? If not, congratulations.
Please stop blaming your spouse, children, parents and the economy, and allow yourself to feel more dignified. It is your care to the detail and pursuit of your happiness that are here in check.
Perhaps your difficulty is related to inertia or lethargy. If you feel stuck in your conditions than I recommend that you learn how to overcome the negative feelings from an easy and kind place. How can you defeat emotional lethargy? I have one simple and life-saving suggestion: don’t judge yourself and move on. Indeed move on with your new understanding and greater feeling, and reach your next important milestone which might be feeling healthier, inspired, energetic, satisfied, in love, in harmony, etc. Simply move on to a new positive feeling platform, even before you address trauma if you have endured it, feel good if not excellent first. Discover what is that you love and surround yourself with that.
For many kiloyears we have seen individuals wanting to manipulate one another. Our survival became associated with that and pleasing others.
It started with Eve that tried to influence Adam to eat the fruit, and Adam not being able to be singular. It is not only Eve’s fault, both individuals’ core identities were already contaminated with insecurity. Why did we all get so easily swayed and our voices so retreated as humanity?
The social media phenomenon that we see, and also in arenas such as politics and teaching platforms, are the result – literally – of interwoven brain waves that keep everyone either unhappily stuck, stagnant or even temporarily satisfied for the few seconds of fame. Our real identity that is already innately self-reliable, will never achieve fulfilment from the social interexchange. The most you get out of it is some sort of validation and momentous equality, feeling a little bit less shit. Is this sustainable?
The world needs to wake up to the understanding that people’s influence is stronger than what we have assumed so far. It is not only a social fact it is also physics. As you think and repeat the same unhelpful thought you pollute not only your life and your loved ones around you, but you also pollute the collective brain.
The waves you emit sustain in the air after their apparent end. The words you originate have electricity and the actions even more voltage, this has been already validated by science.
One needs to wake up to self-responsibility in the creation of not only of our daily life experiences but also of the societies we co-exist. What kind of world do you want to help actualising? We are all to blame for the polluted air we breathe.
What is life but a multitude of occurrences as a result of mentalities and belief systems?
Most people still unwillingly ride waves of despair, disempowerment and victimisation. They submit to the understanding people assign to their experiences.
I know that this is a fragility in almost all personalities, I have been there myself. There is a natural inclination in the mind to react when faced with varied attitudes. This happens because the core identity feels threatened by the negative connotations that others want to impose on us. At the end of the day, it is a mechanism of survival and proving our points.
It is not fair at all when people with negative intent make us feel hostages of their ideas, rules and assumptions. I see this happening in families quite frequently. Nevertheless one needs to ask what makes us prisoners? Is it others or our interpretations and reactions to situations?
I choose to give chances to individuals that have a passive-aggressive style as they also wish to learn to self-regulate (inadvertently), although, I only give them maximum 3 chances depending on their conduct. It is important to not allow direct aggression from anyone, but we all desire to make this world a better place and for this particular reason we have been allowing verbal and psychological abuse from many. It is time to put an end to this insanity, and have a smarter response.
I believe in equal rights and use them in my work often. Every single person, no matter how old they are, need to be fully listened to, and their views deserve to be congruently examined against the standards of universal truth.
“Love others as you love yourself”. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love others. My advice is that we should be tolerant, patient and ready to listen to all the valid reasons and weigh the facts in light with ethical and moral values. This would reduce victimisation thinking and behavioural patterns.
This world requires a stronger and more sustained holding of moral and ethical principles in all contexts.