Identity Loss

What is an identity? An attempt to randomly establish better conditions with no logic? Does it need logic? I’ve realised that when there is more logic and down to earth intention, the better consistency it has. What do I mean by consistency? I think it means to be loyal to transparent and universal values.

Since a very young age, I have been eager to meet kind and strong people. I felt many times disappointed as the kind part would quickly vanish. Did this happen to you before?

The impact of a strong personality is generally speaking huge. I experienced it as being bold, secretive and artificially seductive . I almost got to think that there was more potential and happiness to such identities. Today I realise that there is more pain accumulated most of the time. After I re-analysed my values and stipulated what I believe to be necessary, soon I have become even angry with those that try to take advantage of others through glamour, despite the fact that I understand that there is unprocessed personal experiences. In addition, with this came a scientific understanding of our minds and intentions mechanisms which I found to be enhancing; of course, no point in crying over the past, mainly because there is only the present moment, and the more I can thoroughly enjoy it the better for me.

The loss of the “solid” identity is also correlated to NOT diligently embracing the truth, wisdom and fair treatment of others. How we treat others does impact our ability to sustain a positive well-being balance.

“Awakening”

There is a trend called the awakening or ascension that has been inspiring many people to develop their connection with nature, love, God, and themselves too. For centuries many disciplines including religion, maths, science, journalism, theatre seem to have channelled the “desire for more”, the desire to transcend social limitations and understand them (the latest being less relevant in our consciousness, unfortunately). Is the desire perhaps the real meaning of spirituality? Is the desire in the end the driving force that keeps us alive, engaged, curious, and proactive?

Many people struggle to embrace their desires. They leave this to the end of their journey, even. Is floating with endurance the same thing as actively exploring and adventuring? I don’t believe it is. Endurance refers to a more passive stance, totally valid too, as at times we have to survive, or still keep processing quite a lot of experiences, and therefore we might not feel apt to do more. Does this make sense to you? When we do not find the strength to do more we should honour our efforts so far, understand the limitations in ourselves and others and stick to our own journey and personal rhythm. We will never find 2 individuals with the exact same pace, inclinations, life experiences, limitations, etc. Is this something to feel bad about or to accept? To accept and love without a doubt. Hence, the need to wake to loving your singular existence.

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3 Diamonds

In my work, I make space for the correlation of important elements that are enhancing of a positive and truthful well-being. They are assertiveness, psychological homeostasis and evolution or learning.

Assertiveness speaks of trying to be kind and sincere with your yourself whilst you are being considerate and acting diligently with others around you too. This is highly important but also requires previous homework of exploration of who you are, your real intentions and your innate entitlements. Please read up my previous posts for more content on your innate entitlements.

Psychological homeostasis refers to the individual’s understanding of their own optimal developmental environment and needs. It invites you to take a step back and contemplate what are your real needs. What is a “need?” A need is related to the mechanisms of self-regulation that you might be lacking, in other words, the insight about how you can get easily stuck to a sentiment that there is something lacking in you, or in your life in general. Nothing really is lacking in a human being as we are equipped with all cognitive skills we require in order to reason, make decisions, communicate and survive properly. Why are people not communicating properly these days? A good question to reflect upon, I think.

Evolution or learning refers to the flexibility that is required in the singular ascension. A person needs to be open-minded, so they can overcome challenging times by seeking the truth in them. There are many people stubbornly just professing ideologies and using a loud voice or a passive-aggressive stance, which makes others that are more sensitive and shy, either avoid speaking up and fall behind in their introspection and happiness. Although, the point of this article is that YOU become self-sustainable and not shaken off so quickly by other people’s views of you, or the world around you.

Be aware that you do create your reality, your climate.

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Trespassers

The times we face are interesting and strongly synchronised with the collective homeostasis, not just the earth, but with our physiology, ethics and morality.

Human beings have been trespassers because they can’t seem to be able to wait in the line but instead, they jump queues or stop to look or admire what other people are doing which results in them abandoning their magnificent singular growth temporarily. Like a traffic jam where traffic lights are not respected, and instead, the drivers go in front of each other causing delays and inconvenience, and sometimes they don’t carry the kindest intentions at heart. 

The examples of trespassing are:

  • To inflict unnecessary pain on others
  • To be dishonest in order to achieve recognition
  • To copy someone’s work and profit from it
  • To criticise people harshly and make them feel humiliated, etc…

I see that the current times are asking people to take a slower approach in life. How can we not do it? The benefits are numerous:

  • Better focus
  • Better memory
  • Better decision-making
  • Increase care and compassion
  • Increase creativity
  • Better union and laws
  • No jumping ahead, and instead analysis of singular present moment

We must honour what makes us so unique. We are intelligent corpora that have cognitive faculties that have been neglected. This, unfortunately, resulted in the violation of human rights throughout the many timelines and social epochs, and sadly still occurs. As we slow down and understand our bio-psycho-social existence, it is only likely that we can and will reap much higher long-term meaningful results.

Your Mental Health is Your Responsibility

I have sad news for you. Your life circumstances are a product of your great or little attention to your well-being. You have abandoned knowing yourself to facilitate “happier” moments to other people. Have you? If not, congratulations.

Please stop blaming your spouse, children, parents and the economy, and allow yourself to feel more dignified. It is your care to the detail and pursuit of your happiness that are here in check.

Perhaps your difficulty is related to inertia or lethargy. If you feel stuck in your conditions than I recommend that you learn how to overcome the negative feelings from an easy and kind place. How can you defeat emotional lethargy? I have one simple and life-saving suggestion: don’t judge yourself and move on. Indeed move on with your new understanding and greater feeling, and reach your next important milestone which might be feeling healthier, inspired, energetic, satisfied, in love, in harmony, etc. Simply move on to a new positive feeling platform, even before you address trauma if you have endured it, feel good if not excellent first. Discover what is that you love and surround yourself with that.

It is your responsibility.

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Stop polluting the air with your brainwaves!

For many kiloyears we have seen individuals wanting to manipulate one another. Our survival became associated with that and pleasing others.

It started with Eve that tried to influence Adam to eat the fruit, and Adam not being able to be singular. It is not only Eve’s fault, both individuals’ core identities were already contaminated with insecurity. Why did we all get so easily swayed and our voices so retreated as humanity?

The social media phenomenon that we see, and also in arenas such as politics and teaching platforms, are the result – literally – of interwoven brain waves that keep everyone either unhappily stuck, stagnant or even temporarily satisfied for the few seconds of fame. Our real identity that is already innately self-reliable, will never achieve fulfilment from the social interexchange. The most you get out of it is some sort of validation and momentous equality, feeling a little bit less shit. Is this sustainable?

The world needs to wake up to the understanding that people’s influence is stronger than what we have assumed so far. It is not only a social fact it is also physics. As you think and repeat the same unhelpful thought you pollute not only your life and your loved ones around you, but you also pollute the collective brain.

The waves you emit sustain in the air after their apparent end. The words you originate have electricity and the actions even more voltage, this has been already validated by science.

One needs to wake up to self-responsibility in the creation of not only of our daily life experiences but also of the societies we co-exist. What kind of world do you want to help actualising? We are all to blame for the polluted air we breathe.

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Victimisation is a Virus

What is life but a multitude of occurrences as a result of mentalities and belief systems?

Most people still unwillingly ride waves of despair, disempowerment and victimisation. They submit to the understanding people assign to their experiences.

I know that this is a fragility in almost all personalities, I have been there myself. There is a natural inclination in the mind to react when faced with varied attitudes. This happens because the core identity feels threatened by the negative connotations that others want to impose on us. At the end of the day, it is a mechanism of survival and proving our points.

It is not fair at all when people with negative intent make us feel hostages of their ideas, rules and assumptions. I see this happening in families quite frequently. Nevertheless one needs to ask what makes us prisoners? Is it others or our interpretations and reactions to situations?

I choose to give chances to individuals that have a passive-aggressive style as they also wish to learn to self-regulate (inadvertently), although, I only give them maximum 3 chances depending on their conduct. It is important to not allow direct aggression from anyone, but we all desire to make this world a better place and for this particular reason we have been allowing verbal and psychological abuse from many. It is time to put an end to this insanity, and have a smarter response.

I believe in equal rights and use them in my work often. Every single person, no matter how old they are, need to be fully listened to, and their views deserve to be congruently examined against the standards of universal truth.

“Love others as you love yourself”. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love others. My advice is that we should be tolerant, patient and ready to listen to all the valid reasons and weigh the facts in light with ethical and moral values. This would reduce victimisation thinking and behavioural patterns.

This world requires a stronger and more sustained holding of moral and ethical principles in all contexts.

By Andreia Santo

PSYCHOLOGICAL FREEDOM

Would you like to feel fulfilled in your existence? I refer to the word “existence” considerably as it encompasses from being born to senior stages of our lives. I am aware that it is important to stretch our perception of time once in a while, otherwise, we might get too stuck in particular unhelpful and unkind details and negative behavioural cycles. I am sharing below 5 suggestions concerning how you can achieve psychological freedom.

1. It is vital to realise what your real desires are, so you don’t keep making decisions that don’t contribute to your happiness. When you repeat what you don’t want, you are bringing heavy and about to burst clouds to a sunny territory.

2. It is necessary to ground on universal principles, ethics and in elements of organic productivity. In relationships, this means being brave to acknowledge our emotions and current viewpoints, while allowing space for further reflection, learning and self-discovery. For instance starting a conversation with ” I now feel ______ and my stance is ______, even though it may change if appropriate”. By adopting this communication style you give yourself the time and freedom to re-examine and evolve your discoveries. Personal flexibility is kindness.

3. Everyone has the right to feel safe and healthy. Our minds have to be prioritised as they determine how we think about our general well-being and others. Being safe is not only about experiencing physical safety but also psychological, in other words, It is extremely important to not get used to experiencing feeling unvalued, disrespected and judged.

4. Overcome fear and embrace your valid views. Humankind is so on edge when it comes to taking an assertive stand and verbalising accurate and present emotions. Isn’t this the only way to freedom?

5. The ultimate positioning is when the world becomes a place of genuine interactions and when self-respect and self-introspection are the pillars, and joyful experiences the consequence.