A caring nature is the key and the portal of success, happiness, love, abundance and personal integration.
When individuals split their attention to accommodate stronger and harsher emotions such as anger, hate and resentment, they embark on a journey of dissociation from the whole equation. Imagine a neighbour of yours having gone through the split: How do you think they would behave? Would they feel frequently on edge? Perhaps suspicious and anxious around other people? The split of oneself genuine well-being to embrace fear and worry as the norm, if not understood leaves in individuals deep wounds and their personalities becomes identified with what they perceive and repeatedly suffer from. Of course, there will be situations when it is totally valid to experience fear, worry and dislike; though if this is left unnoticed, there lies the beginning of a possible issue.
I practice clinical psychology with the sentiment that all people have importance and that no one should be made to feel devalued. This principle is something new for many as the mainstream mentality and historical evolution have prioritized pleasing to others. For instance if we pay attention to the expectations related to meeting deadlines, or achieving particular status, financial ranks, family and religious status, we will see that these are some of the social constructs that can ignite in individuals a fight-flight-freeze answer. It is rather difficult to prevent it because it needs to be understood instead! In my sessions I work with my clients on supporting them to notice their emotions better and without any fear. This tends to be useful because it decreases the habit of skipping the noticing stage for quick, fruitless and not very sustainable resolutions. We all need to become fearless about self-analysis, in my view.
I believe that when individuals start making space to care about each other and understand from the other’s angle, whilst not suppressing their emotions, there will be a beautiful evolutionary momentum in the world. Would you agree?
I know it may sound strange this title and rude; however it equally encourages us all to cherish our deliberation, ability to take a step back to think, to flow with our joy and to speak up! This statement is critical if you find yourself engulfed in family, social and professional or school expectations and demands. If you feel lonely and that no one is interested in what you have to say is because you also perceive your voice as being weaker. Recognise that us humans are susceptible to get carried away in people’s dramas because of the intensity of the moment. This is natural. Be kind and a responsible adult during that time, and get used to loving yourself, by taking time out and remembering to prioritise your rhetoric, logic and free will. In my view, no matter how old we are, we ought to esteem our personal existence, uniqueness and freedom to learn and to speak up.
I have sad news for you. Your life circumstances are a product of your great or little attention to your well-being. You have abandoned knowing yourself to facilitate “happier” moments to other people. Have you? If not, congratulations.
Please stop blaming your spouse, children, parents and the economy, and allow yourself to feel more dignified. It is your care to the detail and pursuit of your happiness that are here in check.
Perhaps your difficulty is related to inertia or lethargy. If you feel stuck in your conditions than I recommend that you learn how to overcome the negative feelings from an easy and kind place. How can you defeat emotional lethargy? I have one simple and life-saving suggestion: don’t judge yourself and move on. Indeed move on with your new understanding and greater feeling, and reach your next important milestone which might be feeling healthier, inspired, energetic, satisfied, in love, in harmony, etc. Simply move on to a new positive feeling platform, even before you address trauma if you have endured it, feel good if not excellent first. Discover what is that you love and surround yourself with that.