Having a family nowadays

Being a family in the current times is not an easy thing!

The difference in the pace of 30 years ago and today is enormous in many areas, including in terms of educational and financial expectations and also in terms of ability of the brain in processing information and readiness to learn.

Many aspects affected the slower pace of the old days, in comparison with the current digital era. Families were possible less able to discuss their emotions in open ways, as well as there was a more marked sense of authority regarding gender, status and social roles. Parents were the rule makers while children would listen and if they did not obey they could get badly punished with physical violence. I believe the new parents today have quite a lot of challenges ahead if they do not reflect well about their own experience. It is common that new parents wish to compensate for the lack of love their experienced, though this is not necessarily what they should do or what their children need. I have worked with many parents that have expressed intrinsic anxiety due to the lack of congruent and consistent care and communication demonstrated by their own parents. Some of these people, they also feel ashamed to openly embrace acknowledging this as being their truth. I had people telling me that they felt bad about criticizing their parents, who have given them the best they could. This is normal. However, one needs to analyse deeper and be authentic about circumstances they have experienced and what level of care they have received. Was this care reliable, kind, consistent, avoidant, rejecting, mixed? By contemplating the quality of your interactions during your childhood, you are not blaming anyone, you are only reflecting and improving your psychological well-being and future actions towards yourself and others. If you have been feeling anxious all your life and unsure, it is maybe because you have experienced an anxious or rejecting (or both) upbringing where your sense of self was not noticed or valued by your parents, and instead they made you feel inadequate or carrying many difficulties or aspects you needed to improve about yourself. This generally also means that they might have also felt this way about themselves. Another important aspect is that we need a solid base regarding all humans coming together and agree on the necessary values and principles that our collective communication requires. What would the pillars of enhancing communication be? They would of course include being open to state our real emotions and ideas, as well as not being afraid of saying no, or I am not sure, or that we care a lot about something. All human beings coming together to state the truth about how they actually feel like in all areas of their lives! Is this the new era? Is this the Promised Land? Would this ignite more scientific and creative thinking?