A caring nature is the key and the portal of success, happiness, love, abundance and personal integration.
When individuals split their attention to accommodate stronger and harsher emotions such as anger, hate and resentment, they embark on a journey of dissociation from the whole equation. Imagine a neighbour of yours having gone through the split: How do you think they would behave? Would they feel frequently on edge? Perhaps suspicious and anxious around other people? The split of oneself genuine well-being to embrace fear and worry as the norm, if not understood leaves in individuals deep wounds and their personalities becomes identified with what they perceive and repeatedly suffer from. Of course, there will be situations when it is totally valid to experience fear, worry and dislike; though if this is left unnoticed, there lies the beginning of a possible issue.
I practice clinical psychology with the sentiment that all people have importance and that no one should be made to feel devalued. This principle is something new for many as the mainstream mentality and historical evolution have prioritized pleasing to others. For instance if we pay attention to the expectations related to meeting deadlines, or achieving particular status, financial ranks, family and religious status, we will see that these are some of the social constructs that can ignite in individuals a fight-flight-freeze answer. It is rather difficult to prevent it because it needs to be understood instead! In my sessions I work with my clients on supporting them to notice their emotions better and without any fear. This tends to be useful because it decreases the habit of skipping the noticing stage for quick, fruitless and not very sustainable resolutions. We all need to become fearless about self-analysis, in my view.
I believe that when individuals start making space to care about each other and understand from the other’s angle, whilst not suppressing their emotions, there will be a beautiful evolutionary momentum in the world. Would you agree?
I know it may sound strange this title and rude; however it equally encourages us all to cherish our deliberation, ability to take a step back to think, to flow with our joy and to speak up! This statement is critical if you find yourself engulfed in family, social and professional or school expectations and demands. If you feel lonely and that no one is interested in what you have to say is because you also perceive your voice as being weaker. Recognise that us humans are susceptible to get carried away in people’s dramas because of the intensity of the moment. This is natural. Be kind and a responsible adult during that time, and get used to loving yourself, by taking time out and remembering to prioritise your rhetoric, logic and free will. In my view, no matter how old we are, we ought to esteem our personal existence, uniqueness and freedom to learn and to speak up.
The judgement we know is one of overt criticism towards another or oneself; the thoughts that lead to the action of actually verbalising the judgement.
The judgement methodology is an ancient one, inherently in it there is the “compare and despair” mentality. It consists basically of you reasoning and gathering evidence of why it isn’t good or fair. I am not dismissing the fact that there are wrong things happening at every moment, however, this sort of mentality does not help. The more we seek to find the problem the more we will see it. By doing this you activate momentum in your thinking and you will find extremely difficult to take control, as the intensity of the brain waves increase and permeate your entire system.
For many years people have allowed the judgement methodology to get integrated into the collective and individual mind, which consequently contributed for a gradual deterioration of your ability to love and care about your well-being. This why many people are not able to see above despair, judgement, guilt, anger, etc. They have become deeply accustomed to this mindset.
How to get rid of judgement? Firstly recognised that it is not serving your evolution as it gets you stuck to unpleasant emotional chairs. Your care for the way you feel needs to sound louder than the habit of being pessimistic or judgemental. So raise your voice on a moment by moment basis, and you will experience a new intelligence in you, the original self-love intelligence.
Secondly, reprimand your negative thoughts with authority while you see the truth. It is like a roar of a lion that is always sure of itself and clear.
We must attempt to correct the voices in our heads and navigate more often on positive thinking-feeling platforms deliberately to attain happiness.