Tag Archives: selflove

Self requires logic, fun and sensitivity

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Home and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

As much as one likes to trust that the good times are “always” around the corner, there is still a need for personal accountability, discernment and an attitude of not letting go of one’s meaningful fun and well-being moments. Yes, many people act erratically and can undermine a voice of a vulnerable person, but the vulnerable one shall rise out of that very difficult time and own what they can take control of. In experiences of despair, we can still talk to God or nature, or change the path of our emotions by not allowing them to settle in harsh ways. Self-love is, therefore, our number one tool and an innate mechanism. It is a critical mechanism of survival, homeostasis and harmony.

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You have the power (always available to you if you choose to use it) to improve your emotional states. This might require that you look at things in a more comprehensive way, such as trying to explore and understand the reasons why others act the way they do, or why they commit offences and crimes. That’s why billions of people like to watch crime documentaries, even if they have previously suffered. They find them cathartic and enlightening, and they feel that they are not alone. When we understand what shapes our political-social-religious contexts, this brings a great deal of liberation and the knowing that healing is permanently taking place too, not just when we sit in our therapy sessions. Ultimately, you have free will and can at any time do what you really want for your life and you can honour your magnificent sensitivity. If you feel criticise for being highly sensitive, be reminded that the people that criticise you will probably need to face the facts about their own lack of sensitivity too. Passive-aggressive communication and behavioural styles never lead to great solutions; logic is, in my view, the only way out for all humanity.

Choose to love yourself in every moment, and to embrace your acquired wisdom with dignity and humility, and remember that joy is part of the existential universal fabric.

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To Worry Vs To Care

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Home and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

Is the world avoiding to care, so they don’t worry even more? What is your view?

A caring world would do us all an enormous service. There are definitely people that do care a lot about others, but also many that don’t want to feel connected to people due to worrying about failure, rejection and humiliation. Now, how does one get to grip with what really matters if we are not solid in the values of compassion, love and ethical co-construction?

If we could weigh both “worry” and “care” to compare on an old scale, which one would weigh more in our world? Maybe worry, although I would like to be certain! Hence, I am creating a questionnaire to spread around, so we can gain more insight about this subject.

Perhaps people feel that they have a lot already on their plates, including responsibilities, bills to pay, others to listen too and to answer that they feel that there is not much space for compassion, friendship, and even charity. However, research such as the 5 Ways to Well-being for example has demonstrated that to give our care to someone is an intrinsic part of our existence and is required for someone to feel comprehensively happy too. This piece of investigation, beautifully carried out by the New Economics Foundation, states that in order for human beings to achieve balanced well-being they need to: feel good about connecting to others, being active, taking notice mindfully, keep learning and giving or doing charity work. This definitely resonates and I have seen it revealing to be quite important and effective in my clinical work.

To worry implies walking on the narrowing avenue of cognitive and emotional amplification of the perceived “obstacle”. The aforementioned tends to contribute to the multiplication of stress chemicals, such as cortisol, and the rise of adrenaline in the bloodstream. Suddenly one will feel that there is a “danger” which in turn might lead to rushed, incomplete or even possibly unrealistic catastrophic conclusions/actions due to the overwhelming biochemical discharge.

If you are prone to worry, please consider receiving treatment, as it will not benefit you in the long term. It has been proven by science that creates a deficiency in our immune system and body functions and sustains chronic unhelpful thinking styles.

To care about your life and others on the other end will support good bio-psycho-social progress.

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All that it takes is to care!

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Blog and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A caring nature is the key and the portal of success, happiness, love, abundance and personal integration.

When individuals split their attention to accommodate stronger and harsher emotions such as anger, hate and resentment, they embark on a journey of dissociation from the whole equation. Imagine a neighbour of yours having gone through the split: How do you think they would behave? Would they feel frequently on edge? Perhaps suspicious and anxious around other people? The split of oneself genuine well-being to embrace fear and worry as the norm, if not understood leaves in individuals deep wounds and their personalities becomes identified with what they perceive and repeatedly suffer from. Of course, there will be situations when it is totally valid to experience fear, worry and dislike; though if this is left unnoticed, there lies the beginning of a possible issue.

I practice clinical psychology with the sentiment that all people have importance and that no one should be made to feel devalued. This principle is something new for many as the mainstream mentality and historical evolution have prioritized pleasing to others. For instance if we pay attention to the expectations related to meeting deadlines, or achieving particular status, financial ranks, family and religious status, we will see that these are some of the social constructs that can ignite in individuals a fight-flight-freeze answer. It is rather difficult to prevent it because it needs to be understood instead! In my sessions I work with my clients on supporting them to notice their emotions better and without any fear. This tends to be useful because it decreases the habit of skipping the noticing stage for quick, fruitless and not very sustainable resolutions. We all need to become fearless about self-analysis, in my view.

I believe that when individuals start making space to care about each other and understand from the other’s angle, whilst not suppressing their emotions, there will be a beautiful evolutionary momentum in the world. Would you agree?

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The Structure of a Personality- What purpose it has?

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Home, personality and tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

A personality is a structure that corresponds to the emotional experiences lived by individuals, as well as their unique habits of thinking, how much they have allowed fear to build up and sustain their decision-making, and of hidden and repressed desires, or on the other hand, their ability to follow what they love and to prioritise self-love.

The purpose of a personality is to serve as a light tower that shows what details individuals should start discerning more in themselves, and so they can increase their self-awareness.
Without self-awareness, the world lives in the dark, and even in grotesque times. When it is dark, and a person needs to find something they are likely to stumble on objects, make mistakes, hurt themselves or even others unnecessarily.

This is in my view exactly how most of the population of our world proceeds, stumbling and hurting themselves and others because of their unattended solid personality structures.

Therapy, opening up, being modest and humble are possible helpful routes for recovery of the soul. What is the soul? It is the intact, unconditionally loving, and caring interest present in all; however, most of the time, like a shipwreck.

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Behave Like an Adult!

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Home and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I know it may sound strange this title and rude; however it equally encourages us all to cherish our deliberation, ability to take a step back to think, to flow with our joy and to speak up! This statement is critical if you find yourself engulfed in family, social and professional or school expectations and demands. If you feel lonely and that no one is interested in what you have to say is because you also perceive your voice as being weaker. Recognise that us humans are susceptible to get carried away in people’s dramas because of the intensity of the moment. This is natural. Be kind and a responsible adult during that time, and get used to loving yourself, by taking time out and remembering to prioritise your rhetoric, logic and free will. In my view, no matter how old we are, we ought to esteem our personal existence, uniqueness and freedom to learn and to speak up.

Behave like an adult!

Unconditional Self-Love

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Home and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

The words “self-love” and “unconditional self-love” are experienced by many as archaic or even not representing a priority. This is noticeable because what you hear the most on social media and the television are not those words. I use this terminology in my clinical practice because it is not only intertwined with the purpose of emotional healing and rehabilitation but also with ancient facts that few Masters of unconditional love and peace have tried to disseminate for millennia.

When you love yourself unconditionally, you know that in every step of your way, you will need to re-examine your heart and mind intentions, thoughts and actions. Unconditional self-love to me is a broader understanding that we are beyond meanings; it grounds me immediately to my entitlements of experiencing joy and keep evolving without the fear of being judged. There is much social anxiety on this planet, too much. This has been sustained, and the only thing that can reduce it is the use of logic and authenticity

  • “Breathing in Air Pockets’ By Andreia Santo

Your Mental Health is Your Responsibility

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Home and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have sad news for you. Your life circumstances are a product of your great or little attention to your well-being. You have abandoned knowing yourself to facilitate “happier” moments to other people. Have you? If not, congratulations.

Please stop blaming your spouse, children, parents and the economy, and allow yourself to feel more dignified. It is your care to the detail and pursuit of your happiness that are here in check.

Perhaps your difficulty is related to inertia or lethargy. If you feel stuck in your conditions than I recommend that you learn how to overcome the negative feelings from an easy and kind place. How can you defeat emotional lethargy? I have one simple and life-saving suggestion: don’t judge yourself and move on. Indeed move on with your new understanding and greater feeling, and reach your next important milestone which might be feeling healthier, inspired, energetic, satisfied, in love, in harmony, etc. Simply move on to a new positive feeling platform, even before you address trauma if you have endured it, feel good if not excellent first. Discover what is that you love and surround yourself with that.

It is your responsibility.

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PSYCHOLOGICAL FREEDOM

Posted by Dr Andreia Santo in Blog and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Would you like to feel fulfilled in your existence? I refer to the word “existence” considerably as it encompasses from being born to senior stages of our lives. I am aware that it is important to stretch our perception of time once in a while, otherwise, we might get too stuck in particular unhelpful and unkind details and negative behavioural cycles. I am sharing below 5 suggestions concerning how you can achieve psychological freedom.

1. It is vital to realise what your real desires are, so you don’t keep making decisions that don’t contribute to your happiness. When you repeat what you don’t want, you are bringing heavy and about to burst clouds to a sunny territory.

2. It is necessary to ground on universal principles, ethics and in elements of organic productivity. In relationships, this means being brave to acknowledge our emotions and current viewpoints, while allowing space for further reflection, learning and self-discovery. For instance starting a conversation with ” I now feel ______ and my stance is ______, even though it may change if appropriate”. By adopting this communication style you give yourself the time and freedom to re-examine and evolve your discoveries. Personal flexibility is kindness.

3. Everyone has the right to feel safe and healthy. Our minds have to be prioritised as they determine how we think about our general well-being and others. Being safe is not only about experiencing physical safety but also psychological, in other words, It is extremely important to not get used to experiencing feeling unvalued, disrespected and judged.

4. Overcome fear and embrace your valid views. Humankind is so on edge when it comes to taking an assertive stand and verbalising accurate and present emotions. Isn’t this the only way to freedom?

5. The ultimate positioning is when the world becomes a place of genuine interactions and when self-respect and self-introspection are the pillars, and joyful experiences the consequence.